How should I re-establish contact?
There’s no right and wrong on this one. “These days, calls can seem quite intrusive on people’s lives,” says Dr. Arroll. “So something, like a text, or a direct message, can give the other person time to think about whether they want to respond. But it’s your friendship, so if you feel comfortable picking up the phone, do it. Simply performing that action of reconnection is the important thing,” adds Dr. Arroll.
Social media does, in theory, make it easier, but it needs to be a direct message, says Dr. Arroll. Merely putting a comment on an old friend’s post leaves the onus on them to get in touch, and it’s not even clear that’s what you want. “Also, we only tend to show the best side of ourselves on social media, when real lives are messy,” adds Dr. Arroll. “Someone may look at our profile and think, ‘She’s doing so well, I don’t want to contact her because I don’t feel like my life is like that.’”