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The Thread

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Tabitha & Chantelle: a love letter to my friend

How do you put into words what you feel about a life-affirming friendship? In our series, Lara Kilner asked these women to do exactly that…

Tabitha Peet (above, right), 51, a wedding florist using faux flowers, and personal stylist Chantelle Znideric (above, left), 45, have been friends for 17 years. They met when Tabitha went for dinner at Chantelle’s house with her boyfriend (and their friendship has long outlasted that relationship…). Chantelle lives in Devon, UK, with husband Hayden and their children, Suki, 12, and Marnie, 10, while Tabitha lives in Surrey, UK, with her daughter Scarlett, 12.

Dear Chantelle,
   
You’ve always been there for me as a shining light. You’ve seen me at my worst, sat with me, listened and always took time to understand me.
   
From the very beginning, you wanted to help. I came to your house reluctantly all those years ago, but you were the most enthusiastic, positive person, so warm and welcoming. I remember you saying that you saw my shoes and thought, ‘Well, I think I might like this girl’.
   
I’d been working in London in a big corporate role and was trying to find a slower pace of life and set up my business. When people say, ‘I’m going to help you’, you think, ‘We’ve had a bottle of wine, I’m not going to hear from her again’, but you were true to your word, getting in touch the next week to talk about business and helping me design a beautiful website.
   
We spent so much time together after that, and you were the best support. When you moved to Devon, I thought we might drift apart, but you’re very tenacious. You don’t let go easily, you make things happen and go out of your way to ensure that we don’t lose contact. I think you’re like that with a lot of people.
   
I cherish the times you stay with me when you’re working in London. It’s like an intensive counseling session. You’re that friend that makes me feel positive again.
   
There’s been a lot of fun, too, like when we went to Dubai for three days for your bachelorette party and our feet didn’t touch the ground. You love food and, for a very small person, you’ve got the most amazing capacity to consume an all-you-can-eat buffet. It’s a skill I admire – in fact, I think it’s something you should be teaching on an online course.
   
Love,
Tabitha

Dear Tabitha,
   
My first impression of you that night we met was that you were someone with so many good ideas – and a really gorgeous smile. You’re so open, totally the sort of person I gravitate towards. I remember how we shared our hopes and dreams and aspirations for our futures that night, and there was mutual respect. We just hit it off, didn’t we?
   
You inspire me all the time. I admire your ambition and resilience. You work so hard to support your daughter and you never give up. You’re beautiful on the inside and out and you don’t give yourself enough credit for doing a great job. You need to appreciate just how far you’ve come. Give yourself a pat on the back.
   
When we moved to Devon five years ago, I thought, ‘how am I going to run my business? I don’t know how I’m going to work in London’. But every time I do, you put me up for days, even weeks, at a time. I’m so grateful for that. As soon as I walk through the door, we’re in our PJs, sharing a bottle of wine and some takeout. It’s one of those friendships that is just so easy, we don’t even have to try.
   
You’ve taught me to let things go. I’m a bit of a perfectionist and you help me to relax with that. Thank you for inspiring me and being a really true friend. You give unconditional support and are one of my biggest cheerleaders. I think you’re incredible.
   
Love,
Chantelle

Find Chantelle at personal-stylist.co.uk and discover Tabitha’s faux wedding arrangements at floradora.co.uk

Lara Kilner is a lifestyle journalist. Her writing regularly appears in British newspapers, including The Telegraph, The Times, The Observer and i Weekend.

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